19 junio 2006

Mabel, la depiladora


El barrio no es el más paquete de Buenos Aires. Sus calles están superpobladas de ofertas y vendedores ambulantes. Sobre la avenida, una peluquería no desentona con el bajo precio que se anuncia en la vidriera. Entre corte, manos y brushing un anuncio me impactó: Pierna entera, cavado y axilas $12
Justo lo que buscaba! Depilarme sola y no llenar de cera el baño o la ropa que llevo puesta es un partido que asumí imposible de ganar. La depilación, sobre todo en ciertas zonas, requiere precisión. Por eso, desde hace ocho años Norma es quien se encarga de que no me convierta en la versión femenina de Manolito. Ver desastres en rostros ajenos y conocer mis limitaciones me llevó a determinar que $3 mensuales para depilar mis cejas constituyen una inversión en mi autoestima. Y no cambio a Norma, a pesar de que ya hace dos años que no vivo en las misma ciudad. La depiladora para una mujer es como el médico, el psicólogo o la tarotista: generalmente se llega a ellos por recomendación de una voz ‘autorizada’ y es muy difícil que los cambiemos. Las veces que el apuro me llevó a improvisar con otra más cercana, lo lamenté: las cejas no se depilan por manual, no son para todas las mismas, la naturalidad debe ser el lema y, por eso, a cada rostro le corresponde un estilo…(y a mi las superfinas me convierten en un muñeco artificial).
El apuro se relaciona íntimamente con la depilación. Nos acordamos que nuestras piernas se parecen a las del Diego o que la selva misionera está más cerca de lo que pensábamos cuando la situación nos obliga. Una invitación a la pileta o una cita hot nos ponen entre la espada y la pared. Y si bien los cardos pueden ser una medida anticonceptiva alternativa (porque así ni loca te bajás el pantalón), la tentación es más fuerte y la primera impresión es la que cuenta.
Así que apurada y torpe mejor entregarse a manos expertas. En vísperas a una tarde de pileta o tal vez en el backstage de un encuentro amoroso, la conocí a Mabel. Morochita, toda de negro y con los ojos súper maquillados. Ese día estaba enojada porque la clienta anterior a que yo quisiera dejar de ser el Chpulin Cardetti, la insultó porque la cera estaba demasiado caliente. En cada tirón sentí su enojo.
Primero las axilas. La cera tiene la temperatura justa. Y, enseguida, la pregunta temida:¿cavado profundo? Chan! Noo! Admiro con valentía a las peladitas o a las que se dibujan cositas con sus pelos, pero lo mío es sólo versión estándar…normalito.
Mabel tiene una teoría: los pelos son como sus dueños. a los míos los clasificó como rebeldes. Nacen todos distintos, forman remolinos.
Entre pasada y tirón me contaba de su venida del Paraguay y de su separación. Temí que algunos recuerdos la volvieran a sensibilizar, así que hice la Gran Santos y le cambié de tema. Le pregunté si tenía clientes travestis. Para mi envidia me contó que la mayoría de los travestis depilan cada vez menos partes de su cuerpo por el acceso al láser. Para mi sorpresa me confesó la cantidad de clientes varones (no todos ciclistas) que acuden por sus servicios. El metrosexual abunda.
En eso su celular sonó y como en la propaganda esa en la que la mujer esta operando, la llaman y toda enamorada a la pregunta de qué estás haciendo responde “Nada”; Mabel se enganchó en la conversación, se abstrajo del mundo, mientras mi pierna esperaba embadurnada de cera.
Por suerte terminó más rápido de lo que imaginé. Me miró a los ojos y me dijo: “a vos no te duele”. “Es puro orgullo”, le contesté. Entones me confesó que ni loca se depila: sólo maquinita. En casa de herrero, chuchillo de palo.

46 Comments:

Blogger Lucky Luke said...

Nada, que vengo del blog de Malizia a contarte que tu comment sobre "los que se creen que el clítoris es un flipper" me arrancó una carcajada que no tuvo nada que envidiarle al gol de Maxi hoy a la tarde.

24 junio, 2006 20:05  
Blogger M. Jiménez said...

I got my mind set on you.

29 junio, 2006 13:26  
Blogger Julie said...

si.. eso de la inversión laboral no está nada bueno

29 agosto, 2006 10:50  
Blogger Negra Murguera said...

Cuando me quedé sin laburo, cometí el gravísimo error de cambiar de depiladora (porque la nueva cobraba como 4 veces menos) y fue la muerte misma!
Y al igual que Mabel, me confesó que ella le da a la TrackII. Cualquiera!

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